Connecting Hearts Care Package
Once your family has been matched with a forever child the wait to meet your child is probably the most difficult part. You’ve seen the beautiful face of your child and deep in the pit of your stomach you undoubtedly know that this your child, but now you must wait. The wait can be excruciating yet bittersweet.
GWCA offers a service for families that allows your family to connect with your child before they come home. This package is called our Connecting Hearts Care Package. This package includes a disposable camera for your child or ‘aunties’ at the orphanage to take photos so your child has some memories to bring home with them. A 2 lb decorated cake (if the orphanage will allow outside food), a stuffed mother panda bear and baby, a pillow with family’s photo, and a translated letter. Part of the package comes with the understanding that the orphanage will provide pictures for the family of the child enjoying their gifts. Here are some photos that one of our families just received.
Look at all the fun gifts, her stuffed pandas and photo pillow.
She also received this tasty cake.
And how sweet, she shared it with her friends.
Oh boy it’s so yummy!
Working on homework with a friend.
And posing for the camera.
How fun for this family and their little girl, I know this family was so excited to see her in her daily life, and I bet she was more than excited to show it off. To learn more about this care package and other’s you can visit our Legacy Journey website.
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WOW Kids
Much like the boys, older children get overlooked when it comes to adoption. It seems as though most families want their new ‘baby’ to complete their forever family. Unfortunately there are many kiddos in the orphanages over the age of 4 just waiting for their forever families. In China if a child is over the age of 14 they are no longer eligible for adoption which is why we push so hard to find these kiddos their forever families before then. Check out these sweet faces that are ready and waiting to come home.
Hi, I’m Chase and I am 7 years old. I am very talkative and smart. When I first came to the orphanage I had an imperforate anus and my right eye is slightly smaller than my left. I have been doing well since I got here, but I got a little sick and had to go to the hospital because I lost too much weight. I was able to gain that weight back and now I am doing better. I am talking, walking, and developing on target. I love to watch cartoons and play with my friends!
Hi, I’m Brett and I have a million dollar smile! I love to sing and be the center of attention. Both of my feet are clubbed and I am unable to walk by myself, but that does not stop me from figuring out how to do things on my own. I will crawl on my knees and sometimes I even walk on my ankles. One of my feet is getting treatment, but the other is still turned inward. I am really smart and know my numbers, Chinese characters, and even 1-10 in English!
Hi, I’m Tommy! I am 9 years old and I am great at sports. I used to have a cleft lip and palate, but I had surgery when I was younger and I have been doing great ever since! I have been living in a foster home almost my whole life, and I have been getting stronger and smarter every day. I have not had any health concerns since my surgery and I am doing great in school. I can take care of myself during the day and I love to play with my friends. I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends!
Hi! My name is Marissa. I am 13 years old and after next October I will no longer be eligible to be adopted. I have vitiligo and I have lots of really cool little birth marks on my legs and one really large one on my back. My doctor says its called a nevus. I am very active and don’t ever feel pain or discomfort from my birthmarks. I can keep up with all my friends and love learning new things at school! I can do everything on my own and like to help out my foster family. My foster mom says that I have beautiful bright eyes and very big smile!
Hi, I’m Tatum! I am 10 years old and I am a great singer! When I came to the orphanage, I had an operation for an imperforate anus. Since then, I have been super healthy! I have some incontinence with my bowl movements, but I am able to take care of all my own hygiene needs by myself. I take excellent care of my own hygiene needs. I go to school at the orphanage and I work hard on my studies even though I am a little behind my friends. My caretakers say that I am very outgoing and energetic. I love to sing, and Great Wall even has a video of it! My teachers have talked to me about adoption and I am ready to find my forever family!
Read MoreWOW Kids
Oh, the joy of boys! Did you know that there are hundreds of boys in China waiting to be adopted? Many people believe that little girls from China are the ones that need help, however that is definitely not the case. Because of the well known one child law in China it is often thought that families in China would not want to give up their little boys. This is definitely a myth that desperately needs to be overturned.
- If a boy is born into a family that already has a child it is possible his family may choose to no longer care for him
- If a child is born with a special need that a family is not able to handle they may choose to no longer care for him.
- If a child loses his family at an older age they may become eligible for adoption.
There could be a number of reasons as to why a family would abandon their little boy but the bottom line is, these little boys need forever homes too. Annually there are 3 times as many little girls adopted than little boys so the number of boys waiting is increasing everyday. Take a second to learn a little more about some of our sweet little boys waiting. Click here to view all of our waiting children or contact Jessie@gwca.org to learn more about these guys.
Hi, I’m Andrew! I am 6 years old and I am the life of the party. I had surgery when I was very young because I had CHD, and, since then, I have been feeling better! I am able to play with my friends and I love to dance and sing. I am very smart and love to ask questions. I am a great eater and my favorite food is sweet fruit. My caregivers say that I am typical boy that loves anything with wheels!
I met a very nice adoption advocate this summer and this is what she had to say about me.
“I met this 6 year old boy with CHD. This little guy had so much energy and was ALL BOY running around and playing and showing off for us. I was alone in a stairwell with him and nearly fainted when he jumped from the halfway point on a flight of stairs to beat me to the bottom! I tried to scold him but he gave me one of those smiles that led me to believe he was gonna do it again on the next flight…yep… This little guy is so full of life and just adorable!!! I imagine he keeps his foster mother on her toes! He was very curious about us and followed us all over the orphanage building.”
Hi, I’m Patrick! I am almost 10 years old and I love to play the keyboard and organ. I had surgery to remove a hematoma of the scrotum, but I have not had any other complications since then! When I had my surgery, the doctors found out that I have hemophilia. That doesn’t stop me from doing most things throughout the day, but sometimes I can’t walk as far or run as fast as my friends. I take medication every week to help my blood clot. If I get hurt or fall down sometimes it takes longer for me to stop bleeding, but I still love to be active. I have been living with a foster family since 2006 and I am learning a lot. I can read full newspapers, do chores around the house, and even go on the Internet!
Hi, I’m Louie! I am 6 years old and I love to run around and do things on my own. I came to the orphanage when I was 2 years old and I had a lot of tests run by doctors. The doctors say that I have hydrocephalus, but I have a healthy heart, lungs, and diaphragm. Also, one of my feet is 1 cm longer than the other, but the x-rays show that both feet are very healthy. This has not slowed me down at all! I went to live with my foster family in 2011 and I am learning a lot in school. I am a little bit behind my friends in school and sometimes I am slow at communicating, but I am fast at playing games. I love to play with blocks and build tall towers!
I’m Colton and I am 9 years old. My friends say I am outgoing and polite. My doctors tell me that I have cerebral palsy, a mild deformity of both elbow joints, clubbed feet, and paralysis of both legs. Though I cannot stand or walk, I don’t let this hold me back. My caretakers tell me that I am not even affected by these problems with how much I move around. I am even a pro at using chopsticks and scissors. I can cut out paper flags, kittens, and boats. I would really like to learn how to draw too. I hope that someone can teach me more about this one day! In order to get around I have a cool chair just for me. It has really helped build up the strength in my hands. I love reciting rhymes and stories and helping the other children. I love learning new things and sharing with the other kids around me.
Hi, I’m Daniel! I am 6 years old and I love to play with my toy cars! The doctors say that I have Cerebral Palsy and I go to physical therapy to help this. I used to not be able to move around, but I have been working so hard in therapy that I am able to roll over, sit, stand, and go upstairs all by myself! I almost have walking down to perfection, but sometimes I may be a little unstable . My caregivers say that I am a chatterbox! I love to ask questions and learn new things. I can keep up with my friends in school. I enjoy playing with my toys and I especially like playing outside with my friends!
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WOW Kids
This is the last week of Adoption Awareness Month and we are so excited to share this week’s WOW kids. This month is also Epilepsy Awareness Month. Be sure to check out your local events celebrating both of these causes.
Whether or not these children are destined to be your child or not, they belong to a family and we want your help to find that home for them. Gillian, Shawn, Marissa, MacKenzie and Jill are all beautiful children in our China Waiting Child program. They are anxiously awaiting their forever homes! Take a second to read their stories, and if you would like to learn how to bring them home contact Jessie@gwca.org or go check out our Photo Listings to view other waiting children.
Hi, I’m Gillian! I am 10 yrs old and I love to play outside and hang out with my friends. I used to have hydrocephalus, but in 2011 I had a shunt put in my brain and now it does not even bother me. I do still sometimes have seizures but since 2010 I have only had 13. I take medication every day for it and this helps me out a lot. I go to school in the orphanage and sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with my classmates. I love to do things on my own around the orphanage and I can do almost everything by myself! My favorite things to do are sing songs and build things with my blocks. I love to eat different types of foods, I especially love sweets!
Hi! I am Shawn and I am 11 yrs. old. The doctors say that I have bilateral microtia. I can still hear some sounds if people speak loud enough. I am smart, curious, and organized however, I have trouble speaking. Sometimes I use my hands and gestures to communicate. I can read and write Chinese characters and really enjoy helping the younger kids with their writing. I get along with pretty much everyone at the orphanage and don’t mind helping out with chores. I really like to be active and run and play badminton. My favorite thing to do is take toys apart and put them back together.
Hi! My name is Marissa. I am 13 yrs old and after next October I will no longer be eligible to be adopted. I have vitiligo and I have lots of really cool little birth marks on my legs and one really large one on my back. My doctor says its called a nevus. I am very active and don’t ever feel pain or discomfort from my birthmarks. I can keep up with all my friends and love learning new things at school! I can do everything on my own and like to help out my foster family. My foster mom says that I have beautiful bright eyes and very big smile!
Hi, I’m Mackenzie and I just turned 4 years old! I love to play with my toys, especially the ones that make a lot of noise. I was diagnosed with congenital blindness and I am not able to see even close up. I am super smart, on target developmentally, and I love to talk to my caregivers. I have been living in a foster home and learning so much! I can get around familiar places and I like to color on paper. One of my favorite things to do is listen to music and dance!
My name is Jill and I am 6 years old. Doctors tell me that the shape of my head is a little different and that I have hyperdactylia of the left hand and foot. Lately, I have been able to go to the “Little Sisters Program,” where I have learned to sing, dance, and draw. When I sing I feel like I get to express my love for music! I love it so much that I lead the other children in songs. My favorite song is “A cat with colorful hair.” My caretakers say that I am lovely and polite. I enjoy getting to play with the other children and caring for my dolls. Dressing them up and feeding them is so much fun. I always keep a smile on my face because I know I am a beautiful girl.
Read MoreAnnual Staff Training
On Wednesday November 13th the entire staff at Great Wall China Adoptions and Children of All Nations gathered for our annual training. It was a fantastic day full of knowledge, fellowship, and rejuvenation. Sometimes it is important to take a second to regroup and recharge. At Great Wall/Children of All Nations we are constantly focused on educating our staff and ensuring that we uphold the Hague guidelines to provide quality service to your family and our children.
We began our morning with a fantastic speaker and friend of GWCA, Dr. Rowena Fong. Dr. Fong is a Professor in the school of Social Work at the University of Texas in Austin. She specializes in International Adoption, specifically China. She covered topics regarding Integration and Family Transitions. It is important as an agency that we are refreshed on all aspects of adoption in order to provide better counseling for our families through the entire process. Dr. Fong walked us through some very important information that she felt was necessary for our agency to share with our families. Dr. Fong also coordinates a Chines Culture Camp, which takes place annually in Austin to help adoptees from China and their siblings with the reacculturation process. We had so much fun listening and participating in Dr. Fong’s lecture.
Following Dr. Fong our VP Leigh-Anne Graf, walked us through how to better handle change in the workplace and in our personal lives. When working in International Adoption change occurs frequently. Countries will change their guidelines on a whim and we have to be ready and able to keep moving forward to help our families. For some, change can be easy, for others it can be more challenging. During this session, our staff gained useful tools to be better equipped when handling change.
Leigh Anne also reviewed the Hague guidelines with our staff. The Hague guidelines are tedious and extremely important in the world of adoption. Not only do they protect the children but they also protect your family too. As ‘boring’ as the topic can be, it was very informative and I don’t believe anyone fell asleep! (HAHA)
After lunch we were fortunate to have another incredible speaker Caren Arnold from Big Sky Pediatrics. She reviewed a topic with our staff that was very intriguing and new to most of us, Sensory Integration and Adopted Children. Caren is the owner and operator of Big Sky, an occupational therapy clinic that provides various types of therapies. She broke down Sensory Integration and the various types, signs, and therapies for treatment. Caren gave our staff some tools to use when working with our families to help the adjustment of bringing home a new member of the family. Although none of us left as a licensed therapist, we definitely found ourselves more knowledgeable on this phenomenon.
Our last special guest was someone that GWCA holds dear to our hearts. One of our social workers Sylvia Tarver, LMSW spoke with us on adopting the older child. Sylvia walked us through some important parts of the home study and some helpful tips on how to prepare the home and family for the older child.
Lastly, our China Program Director Diedra Connolly and Marketing Specialist Mary Davis, experts in communication, conducted a workshop on effective communication in the workplace. We played a fun activity and learned better and more effective ways to communicate with each other and our families. We ended the day with a fun team building activity that definitely required communication. We were split into groups of 8 and we were placed on a blanket. The goal was to turn the blanket over onto the other side, without anyone taking a step off the blanket. We were laughing so hard, and it definitely brought us ‘close’ together!
We want to give a big thanks to all of our speakers and management for making this day possible!
Read MoreWOW Kids
Adoption Awareness Month is well underway and we are so excited to share this week’s WOW kids. This month is also Epilepsy Awareness Month. Be sure to check out your local events celebrating both of these causes.
Whether or not these children are destined to be your child or not, they belong to a family and we want your help to find that home for them. Dina, Seth, Ruby, Kyler and Faith are all beautiful children in our China Waiting Child program. They are anxiously awaiting their forever homes! Take a second to read their stories, and if you would like to learn how to bring them home contact Jessie@gwca.org or go check out our Photo Listings to view other waiting children.
Hi, I’m Dina! I’m 10 years old and I have been at the orphanage since I was 5. I have epilepsy but it is not very often that I have an episode (2-3 per month). When I do, it only lasts a couple of minutes and my arms will get stiff and my eyes will shake. If I do not eat sweet foods, then I can avoid an episode. I really love to run and sometimes I am even the fastest in my class. I can count very high and write my numbers. I am a little behind my friends when it comes to learning, but it is probably because I cannot go to a formal school due to my epilepsy. My caregivers say that I am very hospitable, kind, and helpful. I like to help clean up after the younger kids in the orphanage. My favorite thing to do is sing!
Hi, my name is Seth. I was diagnosed with post-operative Congenital Heart Disease. I was briefly cared for by a lay Buddhist prior to being brought to the orphanage. When my doctor did a physical examination they found I had a single atrium to my heart. I had surgery to correct my CHD in October 2011. The surgery went well and I can keep up with all of my friends. I can run, jump and I love to play hide and seek. I am quiet but my caretakers say I am a boy with a quick smile. I really enjoy spending time with my caretakers and friends.
Hi, I’m Ruby! I am 8 years old, smart, and independent. When I was born I had a cleft lip and palate. In 2009, I had surgery to repair this and I have been doing great ever since! I had a test done that shows I am behind my friends in development, but my caregivers report that I keep up with them just fine. Sometimes my words can be a little hard to understand, but I keep working on my speech. I love to be active and social!
Hello, I’m Kyler! I am 3 years old and am super cute. I can be spoiled but I am close with my caretakers. In April 2013, I had a big surgery called a “right double-way Glenn operation.” My doctors say that I have a complex heart defect: transposition of the great arteries, pulmonary stensosis, and an ASD and VSD. My doctors told me that I am a brave boy but I will need to have another operation next year. I can be quite talkative but when I get around strangers I become shy. I like getting to play with the other children but since I have a big heart problem, I cannot go to school with my friends. I hope I can get better soon so that I can do more since I like to be active!
Hi, I’m Faith! I am 8 years old and I am smart as a whip! I have been diagnosed with a limb deformity of both of my legs. I work really hard in my therapy sessions and I have really improved! I can walk on my own when I hold onto hand rails. I can do most things all by myself during the day, but I need to ask for help going potty. I love to play games with my friends and learn new things in school. My teachers say that I have the best memory of anyone in my class! I can remember songs, poems, and stories for a very long time. My teachers have talked to me about adoption, and I would love to find a forever family!
Read MoreWelcome Home MingWei
The staff at GWCA are so excited to welcome home the Onchak family and their newest family member, Ming Wei. We applaud the efforts of the Onchak family and especially Ming Wei’s courage! A reporter in China got wind of Ming Wei’s story and was compelled to learn more. See what Mr. Han has to say about this heartwarming tale of a child finding her forever home.
Orphan Starting New Life in U.S.
By: Richard Han, Shenzhen Daily News
Just days before her 14th birthday, Chen Mingwei bid farewell to Shenzhen Social Welfare Center and boarded a flight in Hong Kong on Thursday to start her new life in the United States.
On the other side of the planet, a group of 30 family members in Ohio, will greet her at the local airport and organize a birthday party for their new family member.
Chen lived at Shenzhen Social Welfare Center for five years. She’s the latest and oldest orphan to be adopted by a U.S. family under a program with Great Wall China Adoption, a division of one of America’s leading international adoption agencies.
China is party to the Hague Adoption Convention. Children from China must meet the requirements of the convention in order to be eligible for adoption. Chinese law allows for the adoption of children up to and including age 13; children 14 and older may not be adopted.
“In China, many families tend to adopt a child younger than 3. It was impossible for Chen to find a family in China,” Tang Rongsheng, director of the welfare center, said.
Before Chen turned 14 Monday, Tang treated her as an emergency case and contacted Great Wall, which sent out communications to thousands of U.S. families. A family in Ohio decided to adopt Chen after seeing videos of her attending different activities.
In the three years since the cooperation program was initiated, around 140 children from Shenzhen Social Welfare Center have been adopted by U.S. families.
Ming Wei and her new Forever Family
WOW Kids
Adoption Awareness Month is well underway and we are so excited to share this week’s WOW kids. This month is also Epilepsy Awareness Month. Be sure to check out your local events celebrating both of these causes.
Whether or not these children are destined to be your child or not, they belong to a family and we want your help to find that home for them. Sharon, Charlie, Lexi, Bailey and Wilma are all beautiful children in our China Waiting Child program. They are anxiously awaiting their forever homes! Take a second to read their stories, and if you would like to learn how to bring them home contact Jessie@gwca.org or go check out our Photo Listings to view other waiting children.
Meet Our WOW Kids
Hi, I’m Sharon! I am 11 years old and I love to be the center of attention. When people come to the orphanage, I will be the first person to greet them and be hospitable. I have epilepsy, but it is primarily managed with medications. I may have one or two episodes a year, but it doesn’t slow me down. School can be a little difficult for me, but I make good grades and I am always respectful to my teachers. My teachers say that I am very helpful to the other students and compassionate towards my friends. I am always wanting to participate in different activities and I love to be active!
Hi, I’m Charlie! I am 9 years old and I love school. I get around in a wheelchair because I have osteogenisis imperfecta, and that means that my bones are weak and it makes it difficult to walk. I had an operation for this in 2011, but I may need another one soon. I go to physical therapy weekly and I am getting stronger. My teachers say that I am very hardworking in school and I have the grades to prove it. I am studying Math, Chinese, English, and Art. I have a lot of friends and I am very easy to get along with!
Hi, I’m Lexi and I am 11 years old. I am a very outgoing girl and I get along well with the other children. My doctors say that I have mild exotropia and I have a 2cm hemangioma on my chest. I am studying in the kindergarten class in the orphanage since I am a bit behind my friends. I think it’s because I have a bad memory but I am working hard to catch up. My teacher even helps me recite Tang poetry so that I can catch up. My foster mother also helps me with my homework and I am trying to get better at expressing myself and communicating with adults. I don’t always understand their questions and sometimes they don’t understand mine. I am a big helper with the house chores and I am getting along well with my foster family.
Hi! My name is Bailey. I am 5 years old and my doctor’s say that I have a deformed spine, deformed legs, and functional incapacitation along with Hepatitis B. I have strong flexible hands and enjoying playing on my bed since I can’t get around very well. Most of the time I am shy and quiet, but if I know who is in front of me I will talk non-stop. I pride myself on being very smart and articulate, I think I sound like a grown-up! Even though my legs don’t work my mind does! I eat mostly soft foods and my foster family helps me with that. My favorite thing to do is read picture books.
Hi! My name is Wilma. I am 7 years old. When I was little I lived in a small village until I was 4. It was hard when I first got to the orphanage, I had to learn to share, help others, and listen carefully to my teacher. I am open and active. I love reading books and doing puzzles. My doctor says I have a big curve in my spine, he calls it scoliosis. I also have trouble with my expressing myself verbally, but I definitely understand what my caregivers are saying. I feel better everyday and believe that I am getting smarter. I am making lots of friends and I think the caretakers really like me!
Read MoreHalloween Photo Contest Winners
The staff at GWCA are so grateful for all of the families that submitted photos for our Halloween Photo Contest. If you haven’t had the chance to look, check out our Facebook here you can see all of our little Halloween cuties. If you missed out, you can still email your pictures to shannon@gwca.org to land a spot in the album.
The staff at GWCA diligently voted on our winners, and it wasn’t easy! So without further ado here are the GWCA 2013 Halloween Photo Contest Winners.
Spookiest – Headless Horseman Jacob
Cutest – Olivia as Minnie Mouse
Most Handsome – Zac is just as handsome as Maverick in Top Gun!
Most Clever – Juniper as Albert Einstein
The Biggest Sweetheart – Hailey as Tinkerbell
Most Unique – Emma as a Minion
Most Adorable– Go Cowboys! Harper the Cheerleader
Most Creative – Annika and Chandler did a great job with their homemade costumes.
Sassiest– Sophie as Vader Girl
Most Beautiful– Amelia as Cinderella
Honorable Mentions
Ethan as Woody
David as Eeyore
Mei as a Superhero
Leila and Malia as Minnie Mouse and Catwoman
Avery as a Native American
Look What Love Can Do
Look What Love Can Do….Love Changes Lives!
Hi Everyone…
We are the Pancoast family. We live in Washington State about 40 minutes from the Canadian border and 40 minutes from the Idaho border, in rural America, and we love it. The nearest major city is Spokane, 80 miles south of us. If we can do this, so can you. Ted had a custom cabinet shop and Brandy had a music school when our journey to China began.
Our story begins way back with our marriage and the discussion to adopt someday to make a family instead of walking a traditional path. Five years later, a special little girl recently adopted from China entered Brandy’s music school and set us on the path to China. Unfortunately we had to wait for Brandy to turn 30 to qualify, so we waited a bit more.
Then, after much adoption research and soul searching to make sure we were on the path we were meant to be on, we started the great paper chase in the traditional path to adopt from China. Never did we dream that six years later, we would be the parents of six children (ages 9, 9.5, 10.5, 11.5, almost 14 and 15.5) adopted from the special needs track and have traveled to China four times.
We changed from the traditional path to the special needs path after taking an older child adoption class online and realizing that we were both visualizing a girl who was 5 or 6 and neither of us needed to have a baby to complete our dream. The very next photo list had a little girl who quickly became our first daughter…well after another year of paperwork. She was our daughter in our hearts right away though.
Was the decision easy…definitely NOT. Did we want to adopt her..YES. Did she call to our hearts…YES. Were we afraid we couldn’t give her what she needed…Absolutely. What did we know about a deaf child? We weren’t deaf and neither of us knew sign language. Could we meet her needs? Were we really meant to do it? Time and again as we researched our area for answers in the two weeks to follow, God brought the people into our lives to confirm that yes we were indeed called to be her parents and could meet her needs. The bottom line in the end was that we knew in our hearts that she was our daughter.
Less than a month after we returned home with Amalie in 2008, she drew a picture of her family and put it on the refrigerator. It had her Dad, Mom, Amalie and a sister. It seemed indeed we were headed back to China and at Amalie’s 6 month post placement report visit, we started the next home study. Little did we suspect what was going to happen next.
Eleven months after Amalie came home, we started to watch the list again believing that we could “really look” in a month when our paperwork was ready. We saw a GWCA Newsletter that featured a small/language delayed child who had been waiting for a long time and asked to see her file in a month when we qualified again if she was still waiting. It turned out we could see that file right away since she was in the special needs track and 24 hours later we began the specific paperwork to bring Opal home. The very day after we sent in Opal’s dossier, we saw GWCA’s website for their Beijing Journey of Hope project and Amalie saw the picture of a friend. In Amalie’s words…”She cries all the time.” When asked why Amalie said “..she is waiting, waiting, waiting for a family.” Never did we dream that that statement would lead to a call to GWCA that would lead to an impossible miracle. Sophie became the first time approval was granted to a GWCA family for a special exemption to bring home two unrelated children at once. Out of the blue we were going from a family of three to a family of five.
Sophie and Opal were our greatest education into the mystery of file errors in the adoption process. Opal had her first seizure one day after we returned home…surprise…no mention of that in the file. Oh, you mean she isn’t really 9 but more likely 5. And don’t forget she only wears size 3 toddler clothes. Or Sophie’s webbed neck is actually 5 fused vertebrae…hmmm. Needless to say this adjustment period was a time blessed by love and giggles, and yet exhaustion, as we tried to find the answers to too many medical mysteries for two girls. Despite all the challenges, it was SO worth it. To see Sophie and Amalie reunited was priceless. To see the nannies study Amalie’s hearing aids with tears in their eyes and talk to her and have her reply in English and have them thank us…amazing. To see Sophie asking with gestures if she could have hearing aids and eager to go home to get some…beyond words. And to see Opal move from a shut down child unable to interact with us to a giggling, chatterbox who attached faster than we could believe…you can only know it if you live it.
Love changes lives indeed…
But our story was not done. The house had too many girls and Ted was outnumbered. Soon the girls were lobbying for brothers too, so at Sophie and Opal’s one year post placement report visit we began another home study. This time we did the paperwork for two kids at once, just in case, since the rules had changed and that was now allowed. We didn’t expect to do it again. It was too exhausting and how would we ever pay for it. Nevertheless we opened the door with the intention of reusing the dossier later.
The next thing we knew a precious little face was smiling at us from the photo listings saying “I’m yours too” and within minutes of Brandy showing Ted the picture we were filling out paperwork to bring Webster home. As the time drew closer to the end of Webster’s paper chase and we were waiting for travel approval, we saw a video of a 12 year old boy asking for a family. We asked about adopting him and in the end were not able to. Little did we know that was going to prepare us to bring home David on a fast track adoption. We saw David’s picture and his eyes had that same look we had seen in Amalie’s eyes…Where is my family? The difference…David was about to age out and he had been waiting for a long time. We ended up adopting Webster and David in an expedited trip through China making it back to the US with only a few hours to spare to clear customs before David’s 14th birthday.
At this point we were sure we were done…five kids in a little over 3 years, a recessed economy severely impacting both of our businesses and a home that was pretty full. Perhaps God laughed at us because one night Ted said that maybe we should go back for another boy to balance us out…three girls, three boys. The next morning the 12 year old we had asked to adopt was featured as an aging out 13 year old on an advocacy blog. That afternoon at lunch the kids asked for another brother and David added the request for a brother who could speak Chinese.
Well…there was no way we were going to be able to do another $30,000 adoption, but all the signs were saying ask for the impossible. We did, the doors kept opening, the dossier could be used again, the funds came together and Jonathan came home in July. We have looked at six files, six children have joined our family, we can’t imagine it any other way. For whatever reason, we have been scanning a list or website or newsletter and have known…This one is ours.
We could write a book on all of the experiences and life changes that have come with this process. Never did we dream that we would be parenting two older boys with stories that break your heart, have three deaf children and a special little giggling chatterbox. Each and every one of them is a precious treasure and we can’t imagine our lives without them!
So our advice…read everything you can to prepare, take the online adoption classes, talk to other adoptive parents…and when you find that child who seems to belong to you, step through the door and see if the doors keep opening. The doors will open if they are meant to be open and never forget to celebrate all of the special hugs and laughs and smiles you find when those children come home. You may need to fundraise like crazy, apply for grants, be blessed by donation surprises and learn to change your expectations, but it is worth it…Love always is!
Is it hard? Yes sometimes it is as you work through the junk that comes with what our kids have survived and help them relearn those survival skills they had to develop to deal with their lives. Then there are the moments when you find yourself in those wonderful conversations that let you know they are going to make it through, make it all worth it. The first time your “deaf/mute” child talks to you is incredible and the first time you hear “I love you” verbally defies description. The first time your boys who had no hope of anything talk about “when they go to college” and begin to dream of having choices is inspiring…not because they may choose to go to college, but because they begin to believe that they can do whatever they want to and DREAM. When the little girl who couldn’t see or make her brain process anything discovers she can…well…no words can describe that either.
Ted still has a custom cabinet shop and Brandy still has a music school. Now though our days are full too with all that goes with our “Pancoast Eight” family…homeschooling six kids, Irish Dance lessons and travel as several of the kids quickly move towards the top competition levels with the help of their world class teacher, basketball teams and the practicing, games and coaching that goes with them, piano lessons, guitar lessons, speech therapy, specialists, specialists, specialists, and best of all LOVE! Oh and Brandy’s mom finally quit asking when she was going to get grand kids since she has 10 now after the last 4.5 years.
One last nugget…special needs is just that…a special need…and every child is special. Sometimes they need extra love, sometimes they need extra help learning to read, sometimes they need extra medical help…it doesn’t really matter. Every child is special…they are the unique person they were meant to be. It doesn’t matter if the path you take is traditional or not, every child needs a family to love them and believe in them and support them. Every child needs LOVE!
Want to know more, feel free to contact us at pancoast@theofficenet.com or 509-738-4913. You can also visit the blogs of our adoption journeys.
www.myadoptionwebsite.com/jonathan
www.myadoptionwebsite.com/webster
www.myadoptionwebsite.com/pancoast
www.myadoptionwebsite2.com/amalie
Starting with the most current adoption and moving back through time. You can set up your own site at www.myadoptionwebsite.com. Joe and Jennifer are incredible to work with if you want an easy to manage travel website while you travel. We have loved working with them.
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